Love Month – Week 2

1 Corinthians 13:5 – It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Whoah. I don't know about you, but this verse smacked me in the face. Some of these are a struggle at times. We need this week to soak in this verse!

As a family:

Read this verse together to begin the week. Continue reciting it throughout the week until you all have it memorized.

Discuss this verse together. What do these words mean? Some of these ideas are totally counter cultural and we will need to put them in context with our kids.

- We are valuable, loved and important. God placed within us desires. Those are great! But, we must remember not to be self-seeking. Seek first God and His kingdom! The Bible says that as much as it is up to us, we should be at peace with everyone. How hard is that when you don't get your way? When your feelings are hurt? But being difficult doesn't make it any less necessary. We must seek to love others the way God loves them and that includes not being selfish.

Pursue: Each day, practice pursuing the qualities of love listed in this week's Scripture.

Involvement: How can we honor our siblings, children, parents, etc.?

- Remember to consider your own faults in these areas with your children. Don't feel like you have to shy away from things you've done that you aren't particularly happy about. Take this opportunity to talk about it and apologize.

Love your neighbor: How can we honor those that God puts in our path?

- There are so many ways to honor people, but some of the easiest and often forgotten are by giving your time and attention. When we are self-seeking, we want to dominate conversations and talk about us. When we focus on honoring others, we can give them our time and attention, even if our flesh would like to do something else.

God's Love: Brainstorm with your kids...what does this verse tell us about God's love for us?

Pray together: Each day, take time to pray with your children and ask God to help you and them demonstrate this week's love qualities.

As a couple:

 

I am looking forward to some deep discussion with my sweet hubby this week. Spend time talking about how you could make your spouse feel honored. Think about times that you've become easily angered at your spouse and how you could change that in the future. Talk through those times together and apologize. Ask your spouse for examples of times you may have been self-seeking, rather than focusing on what would be best for your spouse and/or marriage. Lastly, discuss the idea of keeping no record of wrongs. Do you bring up things from the past that caused you grief? Issues and arguments that you've had previously? Or does your spouse do that to you? How does it feel to have your wrongs from years past thrown at you?

This isn't healthy. And it isn't Biblical. If you are continually bringing up things from the past, ask yourself if you have really forgiven your spouse and healed from that. If not, take the time to talk through that and work it out. Pray about it together. God wants you on the same team. He wants you happy. He wants a loving, Biblical marriage for you.

But. It. Takes. Work.

Put in the work this week. You and your spouse are worth it!

Love Month! Finding Real Love in A Lost World

With the Lord's leading...we have declared February to be Love Month in our house!

It started with a simple idea that I've seen floating around the internet. Put a post-it on your children's bedroom door every morning in the month of February. On it, write one thing that you love about them. Simple, cute, meaningful, no big list of supplies...sounds great!

But in the shower (the Lord is always working on me while I'm in the shower), He added to my vision of what this means for us. I am going to do the post-its, I'm rather excited about it! I'm also going to leave post-its for my hubby every morning.

But there should be more. 

There is more. 

After all, what is love? It's a simple question, but the answer is rather difficult. I quickly realized that when my son asked me several months ago. We went straight to the source of Truth then and we will do the same this month.

There are so many ideas about love out there. Most of them are completely wrong. If you've been married any length of time, you surely realize that love is not a mere feeling. Love is a choice. A choice to be kind when we don't feel like it, to be patient when the other person doesn't deserve it, to wipe the slate clean and start fresh the next day.

Jesus tells us in Mark 12:30-31 that the greatest commandments are to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength." And secondly, to "love your neighbor as yourself." And 1 Corinthians 13:3 says, "If I give all I have to the poor and give my body over to hardship so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."

Obviously, love is important to God.

As a family, with or without children, we have to be intentional in demonstrating love. Purposeful in learning what real love means and not letting the distortions from the world seep in. Real love is counter-cultural. It is bold and sacrificial at the same time. As parents and as spouses we need to reaffirm the truths about love in our marriages and families because it is all too easy to get pulled in to cultural norms that are not Biblical.

So here's the plan God gave me in the shower. As a family, we are going to study Biblical love this month. I'd love to encourage you to do the same. There are lots of verses about love in the Bible, but the Lord led me to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. We will read one verse per week, throughout Love Month.

Here's how Week 1 breaks down:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (v4)

As a family:
Read this verse together to begin the week. Continue reciting throughout the week until you all have it memorized.
Discuss: What do patient, kind, envy, boast, and proud mean?
Pursue: Each day, practice pursuing the qualities of love listed in that week's Scripture.
Practical examples to share with your kids: Waiting patiently (with a good attitude) for a toy that you want, but someone else is playing with. Not bragging: "haha, I got..."
          - Remember also to use examples of things that you know your kids struggle with;
          not to condemn, but to offer a Biblical solution for their struggles.
Involvement: Have your kids think of examples and discuss those.

Love your neighbor: Talk about what this week's verse means when you walk out your front door. What are some practical ways you can live out "loving your neighbor" using this week's Scripture?
God's love: Brainstorm with your kids...what does this verse tell us about God's love for us? He is a kind Father, He is patient when we make mistakes...
Pray together: Each day, take time to pray with your children and ask God to help you and them demonstrate this week's love qualities.

As a couple:
I'm planning to use the same basic concepts above with my hubby, but on a much deeper level. In addition to that, ask your spouse how you can be more patient or show more kindness. Build them up by giving them examples of how they've shown this week's qualities to you throughout your marriage. Pray together.

I will post an update every week with next week's Scripture, specific questions to think about, and some examples. Follow along if you'd like!

I pray that your families and marriages will be strengthened this coming month!

Free Advice from the Pregnant Lady ;)

I just  came across this post that I wrote a few months ago and never published, so hear it is...

It has been a long time! And since my last post, much has happened in our lives.

Last October I had a miscarriage. It was horrible and devastating. It still hurts. I still cry. I'm thankful I have Jesus. What more needs to be said?

In January, I started a new job and found out I was pregnant again...life has been crazy ever since! I work from home for our homeschooling community. I love it lots, although it has kept me very busy! And I am now almost 29 weeks pregnant with an active, healthy boy. Praise the Lord.

My 3 1/2 year old has started reading (on her own, no pushing from me), and my 5 1/2 year old is as smart as ever!

A few days ago when Shelby was showing her Daddy some "worksheets" she had done that day, she grabbed a marker, sounded out, wrote and then read the word cat. Again, all on her own, without any prompting from me. She's 3. And she amazes me.

This morning while having some wake-up time on the couch watching cartoons, Paul randomly says to me, "Mom, what is 120+120?" Me: 240. Paul: What's 240+60? Me: 300. Paul: Oh, so 5 minutes is 300 seconds! Um yeah, do the math, it took me a few minutes to do it, too. He's FIVE ya'll.

So, that's a brief update on the fam...now to the real reason for this post:

I am a big pregnant lady. I'm not big all over, but my belly is always large and always low, pretty much sitting on my lap. I'm not really sure why. I've never gained more than 30lbs during any pregnancy, but I think it might be because I am so short and my torso is small. I also have big babies and a large diastasis recti. Whatever the reason, people never fail to want to let me know just how huge I look to them.

It.Is.Annoying. And rude. And this uncomfortable, hormonal pregnant lady has had all I can take. So here's some free advice, albeit probably unwanted, from this Momma to anyone who wants it.

Think before you say something to a pregnant woman. I know, I know, it is hard, and something I honestly struggle with, too. But really, what good can come from saying to someone, "You look like you just swallowed a watermelon."? None. Trust me.

I've never met a pregnant woman who gets joy out of a stranger telling her she looks like she's "gonna pop." Balloons pop. People don't. What in the world were you hoping to get out of a comment like that? Plus, I'm still months from my due date. So, no, I'm not close to "popping."

And my favorite comment from a total stranger from this past week, "You have GOT (emphasis hers) to be due any day now!" Actually, no. I still have 12 weeks. But thank you for letting me know that I look even bigger than I already feel. Again, think people.

I'm not having twins, I did not just drop, I'm not about to go into labor, and especially if you are a complete stranger...my uncomfortable, large belly is really not your concern.

Also, it always cracks me up when people try to guess the gender of my baby because I carry low. People have guessed both ways, that I must be having a boy/girl because I carry so low. Well, I have had a boy and a girl, and now am going to have another boy. My belly looked the same every single time. I carry low. It's who I am. It is not because I am carrying a [insert guess here]. So please, just stop. I'm tired of having to patronize people when they make comments that they obviously think are so adorable. It's not adorable. It's exhausting.

I realize that this little rant may sound trivial to some of you. But I can't go out in public at all now without someone making some sort of comment about my belly. And I'm honestly growing weary. I'd sort of like to avoid the public altogether, because they apparently believe I am pregnant for their amusement. After the first 20 or so comments, it just becomes draining. Pregnancy is hard enough for me physically. And it is hard emotionally, too, when seemingly every stranger I meet has to comment about the size of my belly and I have to smile and pretend to be amused.

I am beyond thrilled to be pregnant. I have a much deeper understanding now of what a true miracle and blessing it all is. But even still, the comments are getting old. Pregnant women are emotional and vulnerable. They need affirmation and encouragement and a genuine smile. No one, pregnant or not, wants to hear how large they look.

Let It Go

We have all been a bit under the weather for days. And we've been trapped in our house for so long now that I honestly forget what going outside feels like. Our area has set some record low temps and wind chills in the past month and had lots of snow (with more on the way, eek!).

Anyway, our inability to get out of the house, coupled with attempting to get back into routine, and my grumpiness at how messy my house had become, led to a bleak start to the day. Nothing was going right, I had so many things to do and couldn't get through any of them. The kids were bickering and grumpy and bored, the dogs were rowdy, and everywhere I looked I saw a mess...like I said, bleh. We attempted some schoolwork, but that didn't go well either.

So I had a  moment.

A little bit of clarity, maybe.

We put the schoolwork down and my to-do list away.

The kids picked out books, we put the dogs outside to play, and we sat on the floor to read together.

Paul asked if he could finish where he left off reading in Hop On Pop. I had planned to read to him, but how nice it was to see him excited to read to me. So we started on page 17, where we left off last time, and he read until page 34, then decided to pause for later. It is so neat to sit and watch your little guy read a book on his very own, sounding out the words as he goes. And so rewarding when you realize you taught him how to do that!

Then Shelby brought several of her current faves for me to read to her. When we finished those, she asked about reading Green Eggs and Ham. So we all went upstairs, the kids got ready for naps, and I read them Green Eggs and Ham and loved every minute of watching their excited faces.

Outwardly, it doesn't look like I accomplished much today. Literally everywhere I turn in my house I see a mess or something that needs organized. I have a to-do list that has not gotten much checked off of it. But I also have peace in my home. Happy kids.

If you are having "one-of-those-days," I would encourage you to drop the day's agenda. Sometimes you just have to let it go, forget it all and sit and read or play with your kiddos.

Wife & Mother - The Inferior Choice?

It's a shame that some women feel the need to belittle other women for not having "bigger" goals than being a wife and mom...that they should feel bad for not doing "more" with their life.

Don't mistake where we're headed here, I am not about to tell you that all women should stay home with their children. I am fully aware that many, many women don't have that option. I am also aware that many women who could stay home, choose not to. I'm not here to argue about that. I have my opinions, but the only one that counts is The Lord's. His wisdom and direction for your life are what matter.

Last night I saw something that really struck a chord with me. It wasn't a personal attack on me, but it was a glimpse of the prevailing attitude in some circles of our culture and an excellent reminder of just how backwards our priorities are.

I was searching around on Pinterest of all places, and I came across a pin about desiring to be a wife and mom. Of course, I loved it! But when I went to repost it I noticed the comment of the last pinner. She wrote: "This is everything that's wrong with the world in one pin. #dreambigger." Followed by another winning comment, "Have we really not progressed in the last 50 years?"

I tried to let it go. Really I did. But it was just hanging on me. So I responded to their comments and through our discussion was told by the second young woman that there is "so much more out there" than just being a parent and that there are "bigger dreams." And the young woman who made the initial comment completely disregarded all of my legitimate points and responded only with a sarcastic remark about another pin she had posted comparing religion to a male body part. Way to defend your skewed logic.

Everything that's wrong with the world? There are a lot of things majorly wrong with the world we live in today, don't get me started. But the one I see most often, that has the capacity to destroy the most lives, is illustrated perfectly in her comment. The decline of the value of family.

Gone is the time when family was celebrated as something to fight & sacrifice for. Gone is the time when children were a cherished blessing, rather than a dutiful choice. Gone is the time when we valued the relationship with our spouse, no matter the hard work it took to keep it going, and we didn't quit when it got difficult. Gone is the time when staying at home to raise our children was a valuable choice. It pains me to write that, but the truth is that it just isn't anymore. The mother who stays at home to teach and rear her children is not valued by this society as a whole (although I contend that her value will be noticed more and more as there are less and less of her). These are generalizations, of course. Thankfully, I am surrounded by wonderful, Godly families who still value these things. But society as a whole? I'm not sure anymore.

Surely you've encountered the stigma before. SAHM's watch tv all day, are lazy, spend hours at the spa. Whatever it is you've heard about us, it probably isn't good. And now we have a new generation of women who not only believe these things, but they actually believe that SAHM's like myself are less valuable, less important than they are.

Choosing home over career is scoffed at, looked down upon, and dismissed.

Women pit themselves against other women because they truly believe they're better for making the "modern" choice.

I'm not here to say that moms should or shouldn't work. What I want to say is this: if a woman's goal is nothing more than to be a wife and mom, that is enough! Stay-At-Home-Mom---YOU are enough.

It can be a thankless job, in the normal sense. I don't have performance reviews, chances to shine in front of a boss, get accolades for completing a project well. No one sees the times I'm in tears of frustration, the times I'm scrubbing pee off of the floor or grape juice out of my carpet. The times when stress gets the best of me and I snap at my kiddos and instantly have regret that then taunts me for days. The times when I'm stressing over money and bills, dishes and dirty bathrooms, laundry piled to the top of our recliner. It can be a lonely world.

It is also miraculous. I have a real chance to shape and mold my children, to teach and train them, to show them unconditional love and support. I have the chance to change the world by teaching my children how to shine and love like Jesus. Not to mention, I get hugs and kisses, cuddles, the joy of watching my children learn new things, praise and encouragement from my husband, and unconditional love and wisdom from my Savior. The world of a SAHM is a blessed world.

Follow the path that God leads you down, make the choice that He guides you to. But don't try to tell me that your choice is superior to mine. Desiring to be a wife and mom is not an inferior choice. For me, there is nothing "bigger" than raising the next generation. And it is a true blessing and gift to be able to make that choice.

The Better Mom

I don't want to be the mom who "looks" like she has it all.

I don't want to be the mom struggling because she's trying to have it all.

I want to be the mom who knows she's already got it all, the one content with who she is, where she is and what she has. And I want my children to grow up seeing that contentment.

Comparison truly is the thief of joy. You simply cannot have both on a regular basis.

Pressure is everywhere for us Mommas, and unfortunately, we are usually the ones hardest on ourselves. There are the Mommy Fashionistas, the Naturalist Mommies, Master Crafter Mommy, the Fitness Guru Mommies, the Queen of Organization Mommies, the Cook-Everything-From-Scratch-Mommies, the Never-Stressed, Easy-Going Mommies, and hundreds more categories we could put ourselves into.

But don't you see the danger in that?

Comparison breeds discontentment, it tells you that you are not good enough. And it is a liar. Because, let's face it, you can't be the best at everything. And you don't have to be. Take a minute to let that sink in.

You are who God made you to be, you're the woman He picked to mother the children that He gave you.

A dear friend once told me that we tend to compare our worst attributes to someone else's best. Whoah. There's some serious truth in that. An honest evaluation of myself tells me that I am much better at some things than other things. And there are lots of Mommies who are really good at the things that I stink at. But that doesn't mean they're good at everything. And it doesn't make them a better Mom. Just because they are more fit than I am doesn't mean they have it all together. It simply means that fitness is one of their strong suits. Who knows...maybe they are totally unorganized and their house is a mess. Or maybe not. But whatever the case, we need to remember that while it is great to admire a Mom for something she does well, it is a terrible idea to then assume she's got it all together and life is just a breeze for her. But that's exactly what we do. We see a quality we admire in a Mom, then we assume that she's great at everything, got it all together, and we must be total failures. Comparison lies, ladies.

There isn't time enough in a day to be the best at everything. And thank God, we don't have to be. He created you and you are uniquely His. When you hate yourself, you're hating His precious creation. The Bible says that I am a child of God, a friend of Jesus, that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, that I was chosen by Him. Isn't it marvelous to know that you were created and chosen by the God of the universe?

The Bible also tells me that I am complete in Christ. No matter what the world tells me, no matter how many times the enemy roars in my ear to tell me otherwise, I am complete in Him. Colossians 2:9-10 says,"For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority." 

Take some time today to be who you are and stop trying to be who you're not. There is freedom in Christ and in being who you were made to be. Embrace it.

Happenings Around the House

My little has been quickly progressing lately with her fine motor skills. She is now able to draw cirlces, squares, spirals, squiggly lines and the number 1. Sometimes she even makes letters (I think by accident, but she's super proud either way). She still uses her left and right hands to draw and color so I have no idea where we'll end up with that.

Here is a sampling of her "work" lately:

She said, "I made a P, puh, puh!"

 

One of the more peaceful moments of our homeschool day...don't let it fool you!
 Lots of patience and hard work, but wow is it worth it - such a blessing!

 

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We have also been busy in the garden lately and the kids are loving it, especially my oldest. He is excited every morning to go and see what is ready for harvest! We have picked lots of peppers, sugar snap peas and our first tomato and zucchini so far. He is beyond thrilled. It is even affecting his extreme pickiness. He is all of the sudden loving the produce department at the grocery, asking me to buy things so he can try them (crazy, I know!), and he is excited to at least try what we're growing. What a praise to the Lord!

And yesterday he was literally cracking me up with his antics...

 

After playing a rousing game of chase with both kids that ended with them both catching me at the same time, we had a tickle fight on the couch and were all laughing when my oldest said, "Mom, your kids are having so much fun with you!" Melts my heart. <3

 

Then a little while later he said, "Hey Mom, noooothing is prettier than you. Not even my lamp is prettier." 

 

He's on a roll, folks!


 

Drawing Near Amidst the Chaos

I woke up in a house of cranky monkeys today. We are all tired from celebrating the 4th last night. My oldest has been whining pretty much all day. He is clearly exhausted. We finally made it out of the house to the store by the time they should've been taking their naps.

 

As soon as we got home, I carried them up the stairs (an hour past nap time). They were crying and trying to convince me that they didn't need a nap when I rounded the corner in the hallway and felt something wet and cold on my foot. Great, the dog has pooped on my carpet. Again. And I stepped in it. Gross. We have been forgetting to give her her thyroid medication off and on lately and this is what happens when we mess it up. So now I'm cleaning up poop and scrubbing carpets. And nap time is delayed yet again.

 

I finally got my littlest down and was rocking my oldest, contemplating getting rid of my beloved dog, when I remembered that I want to strive to do everything as unto Him. That He sees me frantically scrubbing my carpets and feeling more than overwhelmed today, even though no one else does. My eyes filled with warm tears as I realized that He loves me, even today, and He knows my heart. He knows the stresses I've had this week, the mistakes I've made, the times I could've done so much better. He sees all the things I do in a day, that no one else sees, to keep our household functioning smoothly.  He knows that even on the most stressful of days, I am more than grateful to be home with my children. I don't have to tell Him that because He knows my every thought. I don't have to explain that just because I feel a little overwhelmed today, doesn't mean I would change anything about my life. He knows my heart is full of gratitude. He sees me screw up all the time, but He knows I'm trying. He knows me. He loves me still. How comforting.  

 

Today He met me right where I was, in the rocking chair with my little boy. His peace washed over me and I felt His love & warmth surround me like a reassuring hug. 

 

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." James 4:8

Summer Adventures, Part 1

This is the first of our "summer adventure" series, hehe. I know, it wasn't really summer yet when we went camping. But we don't mind...we'll take adventure when we find it!

We took our first camping trip in early May, it was my first time tent camping since childhood. We stayed in Hocking Hills State Park because we love to hike in Hocking Hills, our kiddos think it is awesome!

 

My oldest's favorite place this year (and last fall when we took a day trip) was Ash Cave. A huge cave (he likes everything to be big), a waterfall, and endless sand. What more could a 4 1/2yr old boy want!?! My youngest's favorite was Old Man's Cave, she said. She loved the tunnels we had to walk through!

He left off the waterfall, but I think this looks great for a 4yr old who hates to draw/color. This pic was all his own doing!

 

The kids really enjoyed their time with the grands...

 

 

We had a blast and I'm looking forward to more camping adventures this summer!

This is what you call exhaustion, folks!

 

Happenings Around the House

I realized as I was rocking my youngest last night that we have made a big jump from Minnie to Princesses around here. She still likes Minnie, but we are definitely in the Disney Princess era, especially Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty (which she's never seen). Anyway, she wants everything princess right now. We found some old disney princess play shoes and an old pink princess tshirt at a garage sale last week and she barely lets me take them off. Literally. She would prefer to sleep in the shoes if I would let her and she wants to wear that one pink princess shirt 24 hours a day. Every. Single. Day. And whenever she puts on a dress now, she always looks down and says she's a princess and seems genuinely convinced that it must be so.

 

 

School is going well with our oldest, seems like we do a lot of unschooling around here. But his writing is improving, he's off the charts in math, and still progressing with his reading. He can also tell you all about our furnace, how it works and why, and he can tell you all the phases of the moon in perfect order and what they look like. He knows all kinds of random things like that because he asks. He likes to figure everything out. Just like his Daddy and my maternal Pappa.

 

 

Our youngest is doing great, too. she still knows her letters and their sounds, she has started coloring more (both my kids hate coloring), and she can now write a number one. She can also now count with meaning. She's been able to count for a long time now, but she's recently understood that when you say 1-2-3 and so on, that correlates to a certain number of items.

 

 

Also, we finally have all of the garden planted - yay! Lots of science can be discovered in the garden and we are all looking forward to the fruits of our labor. This year we have 12 tomato plants, 3 rows of potatoes, 3 rows of green beans, cucumbers, cantaloupe, watermelon, zucchini, bell peppers, snap peas, banana and jalapeno peppers. Should be an interesting summer! The kids love going outside every morning to see what has popped up overnight!

 

And the biggest news around here is that we recently found out our big guy has a food allergy to dairy. It was a major blow to us because his favorite food ever is cheese and he chugs milk all day long. But, it answers multiple prayer requests with just one solution, and it is so like God to do that. Wrap it all up in one package for us to be able to get it under control. Our doctor explained that he doesn't digest the milk protein. Instead, his body reacts to it by having an adrenaline rush of sorts, keeping him full of adrenaline all day. This is why he struggles with naps and bedtime even though he's tired, and why he wakes up exhausted at 6:14am everyday. The doctor thinks this is also the cause of his allergies/drainage and ear infections, and even his sometimes ornery behavior.

 

 

He's been off of dairy for over a week now and we have noticed a huge difference. Last week, he took a nap everyday without complaining. No running in and out of his room for hours fighting sleep. Same at bedtime. It was amazing. He was also a little different behaviorally and overall, just more pleasant. He accidentally had dairy twice this weekend and whoa, he's like a different kid again. He hasn't taken a nap since then and he's been waking up at 6ish every morning. He's exhausted and whiny and cranky and ultra hyper.

I'm sad that he has to go without his favorite food. It breaks my heart. I want him to have everything he wants in life, and I understand his love for yummy, gooey cheese immensely. I'm sad that I have to call his teachers at church and tell them no more goldfish. I really hope he doesn't have to be the different one in class, that they can all just have a different snack. I don't want my children to ever go without anything they want, even if it is something trivial like cheese. So we will cut out the dairy around here and we will pray. I am believing that God will restore my oldest's body to new and he will someday be able to enjoy cheese again.

What Am I Waiting For?

It has been a typical weeknight here. The hubby took our oldest to a parent-child sports sampler class at the Y and the little one and I went to the grocery. I got home and was bringing the groceries in the door and honestly felt grumpy. That "here we go again" attitude. Our house had gotten a little messy over the course of the evening, more stuff to do tomorrow, groceries to put away, fridge to clean out, etc. Just felt kind of bleh...not in any way dreading tomorrow, but not really anticipating it like I should either.

Then I was standing there putting away groceries and my oldest started telling me about his class. He had volunteered to be the leader tonight! Surprising for my once-shy little guy. He got to pick the warm-up exercises and how many of each they did. He was demonstrating the jumps for me at home and decided he wanted to do 100. So I stood there smiling, watching him jump and count to 100, and watching our little girl toss her pink blanky over the air vent so she could see it blow up like a balloon. At that moment I realized, these are the days and nights that make up the memories of their childhood. These ordinary, simple days, spending time with Mom and Dad. This is what they'll remember. These are the things I remember about my childhood, too. So while I sometimes feel like I'm just rushing through this to get to the next exciting thing, I need to always be aware that these are the exciting things. I don't want to miss this! These are the evenings that will string together their childhood memories. Why do I feel like I have to wait for "something" to be happy and enjoy the moment? What am I waiting for? I should be enjoying the here and now, even if it seems mundane. So what? It kind of is. And that's what I've always wanted.

I don't usually have moments like this. Most often I really relish my time with my family. But from now on, if I ever catch myself just going through the motions, or losing the anticipation of the next fun day here on the homestead, I want to remind myself of this. The magic that is watching my kids dance around the kitchen floor, make up silly words together and giggle, each slip on a pair of my shoes and proudly make it across the floor in them, watching my oldest read new words with ease, watching my youngest count objects around the house...what an enormous blessing. Even though there will always be laundry to do and dishes that need scrubbed, there can be magic in the everyday if we stop to enjoy it and soak it in.

I don't want to rush through this, my kids will already be three and five later this year. Their childhood is going plenty fast enough. <3

That Darn Binky

Oh my. Rough few days at this house.

Do you have a strong-willed or stubborn child? I do. Two of them, in fact. And although they are very different, they are both fiercely determined.

Determination can be a trait to be admired, it is needed in life and extremely beneficial in most any job. My strong-will and determination did much good when I worked for children services. I am certain that God has equipped my children with these traits so that they can be harnessed in and used by Him for His purposes and glory. But turning a complete stubborn, screaming meltdown into something that can glorify the Lord is going to take a lot of work on our part as parents and a lot of wisdom from God. He is the perfect parent with all the answers. And I need some today, that's for sure!

It sounds trite, I realize, but these past few days we have been really struggling with my youngest child over the binky. Like I said, I realize it sounds insignificant, but if you have a strong-willed child, you know what I'm talking about. My oldest child is certainly my most strong, determined child and always has been. Before we brought him home from the hospital, we knew how to describe him (in addition to perfect!)...intense. He has always been intense; mad, happy, sad, whatever the emotion he always displays it to the fullest. Much like me. But with my youngest, it has caught me by surprise. From the beginning she has been laid back, relaxed and easy-going like her Daddy. But there have always been those few things... For instance, she refused to take any kind of bottle/sippy cup, etc. from birth. No long dates for Mom and Dad because she refused to eat for a sitter. No matter what bottle you used or what was in the cup, she wasn't having it.

I finally decided to wean her from the breast when she was almost a year old. Up until then, she had still refused to drink anything out of anything, so I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But I really had no idea what I was in for. I did know that once I decided to stop nursing, there couldn't be any going back. So I stopped. And guess what? She stopped drinking. She literally refused to drink any liquid from any type of cup or bottle or spoon for 7 days. And believe me, I tried everything. During that time, we made several visits to the doctor, tried to give her liquid through a medicine dropper, and finally just made her more liquidy foods to ensure she didn't become dehydrated. It was one of my hardest weeks ever.

And I feel like that's where we are at today with the binky. For several months now we've only let her have it when she's sleeping, instead of all day long. She managed to get over that surprisingly quickly. But last week she was pretty sick and all she could do was lay around, so I let her have it to make her comfortable. Her 103 fever won me over. Oops. That was a mistake.

Three days ago we told her she could only have it at bedtime/naptime again since she's better. That did not go well. She has spent the better part of these last three days screaming. And I don't mean a little crying. I mean the kind of crying that makes me concerned my neighbors are going to call the police because they must think I am torturing her. Shreiking at the top of her lungs, collapsing on the floor, completely inconsolable. Even with my oldest and all of his tenacity, I never knew a child could scream for so long. I've tried everything I can think of, the ignore approach, the tender approach, holding her and scratching her back. I've tried talking to her calmly, time-outs, etc., etc. I've talked to other Moms and gotten some good ideas, but nothing is working to stop the crying.

So that's where we're at. I'm sure I'll update when we finally have a breakthrough. But for now, I'm going to pray for wisdom and patience. And sanity, lol!

Cinderella and Love and Such...

We were watching Cinderella today for what feels like the 100th time, and I was surprised at the amount of feelings stirred up in me just by watching her "fall in love" with the prince. It made me think about how I used to dream of falling in love as a kid, as I think most all little girls do. And then a quick timeline of my life so far flashed through my mind. Thoughts of how I found my "prince" when I was only fifteen and how God was in our relationship and leading us long before we gave Him the time of day. All of our mistakes and mounds of God's grace leading us here...

To me sitting on the couch snuggling our babies and watching a fairytale. This life, being a Mom and wife, is all I ever wanted. I knew that when I met my husband all those years ago, I just had no idea it would be like this. There are definitely hard days, but wow God sure is good.

And then I thought about what I want my children to know about finding the one whom their soul longs for. There are the obvious things...someone who is respectful, trustworthy, values family, is of good character, etc. Those are important. And of course, I want my children to have a spouse they can enjoy life with, someone who makes them happy. But the thing I really want them to grasp, is that the most important characteristic of any potential spouse is what his/her relationship with Christ is like. I wish I had known this growing up. Although, that's just one of the many examples of God's grace and mercy in my life. My husband and I were not who we are now when we started dating. But God knew there would come a day when we would run to Him together.

Please here me, it is one thing to say you're a Christian (even if you genuinely believe), but it is quite another to live out your days for Christ, in an everlasting relationship with Him. Relationships, whether with people or Christ, take work, time and effort. The divorce rate is the same among the general population as it is among those who identify themselves as Christians. Knowing the truths of God's Word doesn't help much if you aren't willing to apply them. Being in constant communication with the One who knit you together in the womb is the only way to wrangle the lusts of the flesh, whatever they may be. I want my kids to grow up knowing that this is the one thing they must look for in a spouse...above all else, Christ must be there.There's security in knowing that your husband/wife answers to Him and takes that very seriously. 

There is no perfect spouse, but if you find one who lives for God, loves Him and genuinely puts Him and His will first in everything they do, you have found a treasure. This is the gift that the Lord gave me in my husband, and one that I will continue to pray for for my own children as they grow. 

Marriage, like everything, has its hard days. but if it is rooted and grounded in Him...it is way better than a fairytale.

Flashbacks

Whew. What a week!

Since I wrote last, we found out that my oldest had a double ear infection...then a ruptured ear drum. My youngest is getting her two year molars and is in obvious pain. And my husband (and some awesome helpers) built a really cool swing-set from the ground up.

And today I had several cavities filled. Just for added fun.

But spring has finally sprung here! We've grilled out twice already, built a swing-set, been able to go to the park, and we planted the potatoes in the garden.

It has been a busy few days.

Tonight, though, my heart is hurting for a local family who suffered unimaginable violence. I don't know them at all, but it doesn't matter. Their story has been all over the news and all over facebook. Yet I know from experience, most of these types of things go without notice. The majority of the population walks around everyday unaware of the horrors that are happening to children in their community. But those who work for children's service agencies don't. They know it all too well. They live it every single day, no escape. They have to read about it, hear about it, see it first-hand, and testify about it in court. They watch abuse and neglect tear apart families, and drugs cause people to do things you couldn't force your mind to imagine.

I still remember my first day at children's services. Fresh out of college, no kids of my own. I had been a CASA before, so I had a good idea of what I was getting into. But really, nothing could've prepared me for that life.

I started as a temp, so I was just doing busy work to help out the over-worked and exhausted caseworkers. My first assignment seemed simple...pull a kid's file, copy it and send it to his psychologist before his first appointment.

But to do that, I had to read it to make sure I pulled the needed information. I sat in the file room, embarrassed and broken, trying to hide my tears reading that child's file. I truly couldn't believe the disgusting, life-altering things on those pages. How could a child ever come back from that? What must he be like now? Is he permanently emotionally scarred? Will he ever be happy again?

Does he have anyone who loves him?

Has he ever known unconditional love?

A few days later, several of those questions were answered when I drove him to his appointment. Not by his words. There were none of those. As much as I tried to engage him, he literally said nothing. When I looked into his eyes, all I saw was emptiness. A shell of a boy. It hurt my heart so deeply that I've never forgotten it.

I wish I could rescue them all. Still, to this day, I can't forget the things I saw in my time as a caseworker. And I can't forget that there are countless caseworkers all over this country. Many of them working right now, as we're tucking our children in and preparing to go to bed. I couldn't adequately describe all the things they see and do in a day. But know this: It is dangerous work. Not for the faint of heart, it is physically and emotionally draining, with low pay and seemingly never-ending hours...

They see pure evil in one of its most horrific forms. And even when they're not working, it never really leaves them. They carry an enormous weight.

As hard as the job was for me and as much as I LOVE being here with my beautiful babies everyday, there is a part of me that misses it. Maybe someday when my kids are grown I'll go back. For now, though, I'm looking forward to the day when we as a family open our home...

God put adoption on our hearts long ago, and the time is creeping closer. It's not here yet, but we're getting there. And I so look forward to growing our family in that way.

But for now, I plan to fully enjoy the two blessings God has given me. I will hold them tighter tomorrow. And I will be praying for God's peace to overwhelm that local family in this most tragic of times.

You Know Those Days...

You know those days...the days when you feel like you're in the trenches? The days when you feel like you've failed in every possible way as a Momma/Wife/Friend?

That's kind of what we've got going on here today. Sick kiddos, who are also tired from a jam packed weekend. Cranky, snotty noses everywhere, lots of frustration, and way too much arguing and disobeying. And a messy house. Ugh. Although, my oldest did finally sleep through the night last night for the first time in almost a week.

Unfortunately his sister didn't.

But, alas, it is naptime. The golden hour when, if my kids actually sleep (and they are today), Mommy gets to rejuvinate. Make ready to try again. Change the atmosphere of my home for the better. So I'm gonna clean, plan something for dinner and spend some time in the Word and prayer. I expect a turn-around here!

Hope your day is blessed! If it is a little out of sorts like mine, get to praying/worshipping/reading the Bible. You'll be amazed at how the atmosphere will change. You set the tone, Momma!

How Does He Do It?

I'm waking up slowly and groggy this morning, but keenly aware that my husband is some kind of super hero in disguise. Although I  think he's officially blown his cover now.

He works hard. At work and at home. He gives his all to everything he does. When he's at work, he's excelling. When he's at home, he's selfless and devoted, 100% ours. He has no downtime and almost never takes time for himself.

And I wonder...how does he do it?

Lst night when we got home from church, it became quickly obvious that our oldest was not feeling well. He devleoped a fever, headache, sore throat, etc., in pretty rapid form. And He's a needy fella when he doesn't fell well, so we knew it was going to be a long night. Right away, my sweet hubby tells me to take it easy on myself, let tomorrow be a tv day, don't push school, don't push myself, etc. He's saying all this because he knows that this is exactly what I do. Push myself and struggle with guilt when I don't live up to my own insanely high expectations. He tells me he knows the kids will be fine, but he's worried about me. Really?

And it was a ROUGH night with our fevered little guy. We finally got 4 hours of restless sleep until he woke up exhausted and fevered again. And of course he wanted Daddy (he's a Daddy's boy!), so my hubby took him up to his room, gave him medicine, drinks, calmed him down, etc. When my husband finally came downstairs, there was only 40 minutes until his alarm was set to go off. Despite my best efforts to talk him out of it, he decided to just go ahead and hop in the shower and start his day. After only 4 hours of sleep.

Watching him shut the door to the bathroom while I lay in our warm bed kind of broke my heart. But also made me fully grateful for the husband I have, I truly think there's no one like him. I can't believe God saw fit to make him mine, but I'm grateful that he did.

If you've ever met my husband, you know he's very humble. He'll probably hate reading this post, as he has a hard time accepting compliments and admitting his awesomeness. And I know from our many years together that he will tell me, among many sweet things, that it is all Jesus. Jesus is how he does it. He's the man he is because of Jesus. And I can't deny that.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. Ephesians 5:25

My husband exemplifies this in our home. He is humble and patient, loving and kind. And above all, he is selfless. He lays down his life for us, and for Christ, daily.

So, I'll be praying for God to fill him with energy and alertness today. And I'll do my best to make sure he gets to sleep in tomorrow (he's off work). But I doubt he'll let me. He loves early mornings at home with his boy...while the girls of the house are sleeping, lol.

Breakfast is Served

Last summer, when I had zucchini coming out my ears, I wanted to think of a way to use it over the winter. I made the following recipe and everyone (even my non-fruit/veggie eater) liked it, so I packaged my zucchini accordingly.

I finely grated all of our extra zucchini throughout the summer and froze 1 cup in each baggie. This way, all I had to do was thaw it out and dump it in.

 

 

Zucchini Muffins

 

Combine these ingredients:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon (you can use less, but we love cinnamon)

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

* I always toss in some ground flax seed, as well

 

In a sperate bowl, combine these ingredients:

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 cup sugar

1 cup finely shredded, unpeeled zucchini

1/4 cup cooking oil

 

Add dry mixture to zucchini mixture and stir until just moistened. Batter might be a little lumpy.

 

This recipe can be used for bread or regular sized muffins, but we like to make mini muffins! For mini muffins, I bake at 325 (350 for light pan) for 12-18 minutes, depending on your oven. This makes around 35 mini muffins, give or take a few.

 

 

 

And for added fun (and calories!), we like to make icing to go on top. Mix together a little melted butter, powdered sugar and milk until it reaches the consistency you want. Sometimes we make it thinner and it acts as more of a glaze, and other times we thicken it up like icing.

 

 

 

Also, on a completely unrelated note...my little guy started reading today! He was able to sound out all of the words on this page in his kindergarten workbook by himself. And considering that my baby girl knows all of her letters and their sounds, I'd say she may not be too far behind him! Mommy's pretty proud! <3

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

The wonder of a tow truck

So today we saw a tow truck working right in front of our house. If you’re not a mom of a little boy, you probably have no idea why that is so cool. But it was the highlight of the morning here at the Frank house. My little guy couldn’t get outside to watch it fast enough! It was almost as cool as his toy tow truck hauling his monster truck around the basement with our makeshift tow cable (made out of link-a-doos)! ;)

It’s amazing how much wonder the “ordinary” things in life can bring to a child, if we would only slow down enough to notice. What things light up your child’s face and bring about that sense of wonder?

Mom is my "mission field"

Lately I feel like God has been telling me in little whispers to think of being a mom as my “mission field.” That this is a stage in my life when I need to focus on my children as if they were the hungry, homeless people that need fed. Not that I shouldn’t serve in any capacity outside of my family. There is still a lost world that needs to be reached. Instead, the message from Him is to reframe my thinking about my job as a mom and take the pressure off of myself when it comes to service outside the home. I need to pour into my kids like I would someone I encountered who was lost and hurting and needing to know the goodness of the Lord Jesus. My kids aren’t lost and hurting, but they still need to know the goodness of Jesus and it is my job (and Daddy’s) to teach them. That’s such an important part of my role as a parent. Instead of putting much of my focus on the hurting world, God is reminding me daily that my kids are my “mission field” and for this short stage of life when they’re young, I need to serve them and teach them. My husband and I are their windows to Jesus right now and we need to make sure we open the windows wide and let the Light in!