Friday, May 3, 2013

That Darn Binky

Oh my. Rough few days at this house.

Do you have a strong-willed or stubborn child? I do. Two of them, in fact. And although they are very different, they are both fiercely determined.

Determination can be a trait to be admired, it is needed in life and extremely beneficial in most any job. My strong-will and determination did much good when I worked for children services. I am certain that God has equipped my children with these traits so that they can be harnessed in and used by Him for His purposes and glory. But turning a complete stubborn, screaming meltdown into something that can glorify the Lord is going to take a lot of work on our part as parents and a lot of wisdom from God. He is the perfect parent with all the answers. And I need some today, that's for sure!

It sounds trite, I realize, but these past few days we have been really struggling with my youngest child over the binky. Like I said, I realize it sounds insignificant, but if you have a strong-willed child, you know what I'm talking about. My oldest child is certainly my most strong, determined child and always has been. Before we brought him home from the hospital, we knew how to describe him (in addition to perfect!)...intense. He has always been intense; mad, happy, sad, whatever the emotion he always displays it to the fullest. Much like me. But with my youngest, it has caught me by surprise. From the beginning she has been laid back, relaxed and easy-going like her Daddy. But there have always been those few things... For instance, she refused to take any kind of bottle/sippy cup, etc. from birth. No long dates for Mom and Dad because she refused to eat for a sitter. No matter what bottle you used or what was in the cup, she wasn't having it.

I finally decided to wean her from the breast when she was almost a year old. Up until then, she had still refused to drink anything out of anything, so I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But I really had no idea what I was in for. I did know that once I decided to stop nursing, there couldn't be any going back. So I stopped. And guess what? She stopped drinking. She literally refused to drink any liquid from any type of cup or bottle or spoon for 7 days. And believe me, I tried everything. During that time, we made several visits to the doctor, tried to give her liquid through a medicine dropper, and finally just made her more liquidy foods to ensure she didn't become dehydrated. It was one of my hardest weeks ever.

And I feel like that's where we are at today with the binky. For several months now we've only let her have it when she's sleeping, instead of all day long. She managed to get over that surprisingly quickly. But last week she was pretty sick and all she could do was lay around, so I let her have it to make her comfortable. Her 103 fever won me over. Oops. That was a mistake.

Three days ago we told her she could only have it at bedtime/naptime again since she's better. That did not go well. She has spent the better part of these last three days screaming. And I don't mean a little crying. I mean the kind of crying that makes me concerned my neighbors are going to call the police because they must think I am torturing her. Shreiking at the top of her lungs, collapsing on the floor, completely inconsolable. Even with my oldest and all of his tenacity, I never knew a child could scream for so long. I've tried everything I can think of, the ignore approach, the tender approach, holding her and scratching her back. I've tried talking to her calmly, time-outs, etc., etc. I've talked to other Moms and gotten some good ideas, but nothing is working to stop the crying.

So that's where we're at. I'm sure I'll update when we finally have a breakthrough. But for now, I'm going to pray for wisdom and patience. And sanity, lol!

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