Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Wife & Mother - The Inferior Choice?

It's a shame that some women feel the need to belittle other women for not having "bigger" goals than being a wife and mom...that they should feel bad for not doing "more" with their life.

Don't mistake where we're headed here, I am not about to tell you that all women should stay home with their children. I am fully aware that many, many women don't have that option. I am also aware that many women who could stay home, choose not to. I'm not here to argue about that. I have my opinions, but the only one that counts is The Lord's. His wisdom and direction for your life are what matter.

Last night I saw something that really struck a chord with me. It wasn't a personal attack on me, but it was a glimpse of the prevailing attitude in some circles of our culture and an excellent reminder of just how backwards our priorities are.

I was searching around on Pinterest of all places, and I came across a pin about desiring to be a wife and mom. Of course, I loved it! But when I went to repost it I noticed the comment of the last pinner. She wrote: "This is everything that's wrong with the world in one pin. #dreambigger." Followed by another winning comment, "Have we really not progressed in the last 50 years?"

I tried to let it go. Really I did. But it was just hanging on me. So I responded to their comments and through our discussion was told by the second young woman that there is "so much more out there" than just being a parent and that there are "bigger dreams." And the young woman who made the initial comment completely disregarded all of my legitimate points and responded only with a sarcastic remark about another pin she had posted comparing religion to a male body part. Way to defend your skewed logic.

Everything that's wrong with the world? There are a lot of things majorly wrong with the world we live in today, don't get me started. But the one I see most often, that has the capacity to destroy the most lives, is illustrated perfectly in her comment. The decline of the value of family.

Gone is the time when family was celebrated as something to fight & sacrifice for. Gone is the time when children were a cherished blessing, rather than a dutiful choice. Gone is the time when we valued the relationship with our spouse, no matter the hard work it took to keep it going, and we didn't quit when it got difficult. Gone is the time when staying at home to raise our children was a valuable choice. It pains me to write that, but the truth is that it just isn't anymore. The mother who stays at home to teach and rear her children is not valued by this society as a whole (although I contend that her value will be noticed more and more as there are less and less of her). These are generalizations, of course. Thankfully, I am surrounded by wonderful, Godly families who still value these things. But society as a whole? I'm not sure anymore.

Surely you've encountered the stigma before. SAHM's watch tv all day, are lazy, spend hours at the spa. Whatever it is you've heard about us, it probably isn't good. And now we have a new generation of women who not only believe these things, but they actually believe that SAHM's like myself are less valuable, less important than they are.

Choosing home over career is scoffed at, looked down upon, and dismissed.

Women pit themselves against other women because they truly believe they're better for making the "modern" choice.

I'm not here to say that moms should or shouldn't work. What I want to say is this: if a woman's goal is nothing more than to be a wife and mom, that is enough! Stay-At-Home-Mom---YOU are enough.

It can be a thankless job, in the normal sense. I don't have performance reviews, chances to shine in front of a boss, get accolades for completing a project well. No one sees the times I'm in tears of frustration, the times I'm scrubbing pee off of the floor or grape juice out of my carpet. The times when stress gets the best of me and I snap at my kiddos and instantly have regret that then taunts me for days. The times when I'm stressing over money and bills, dishes and dirty bathrooms, laundry piled to the top of our recliner. It can be a lonely world.

It is also miraculous. I have a real chance to shape and mold my children, to teach and train them, to show them unconditional love and support. I have the chance to change the world by teaching my children how to shine and love like Jesus. Not to mention, I get hugs and kisses, cuddles, the joy of watching my children learn new things, praise and encouragement from my husband, and unconditional love and wisdom from my Savior. The world of a SAHM is a blessed world.

Follow the path that God leads you down, make the choice that He guides you to. But don't try to tell me that your choice is superior to mine. Desiring to be a wife and mom is not an inferior choice. For me, there is nothing "bigger" than raising the next generation. And it is a true blessing and gift to be able to make that choice.

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this post. It rings true to my life at this very moment. Being a SAHM of only one child allows me to receive even more blank stares from people. As if choosing to be a SAHM to only one child is not worth the financial and career sacrifices. It is what I love. It is what brings me joy! Thanks for this :)